Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Just__J0's best tweets

@Just__J0 : Table for one, please. Ma'am, your family is right behind you.

@Just__J0: I got my DNA results back and found out I’m 15% “Other” and now I’m ready for the mothership to come and take me home.

@Just__J0: I’ve had to repeat everything I’ve said to Alexa today like we’re married.

@Just__J0: There's no such thing as a five second rule if you're putting it on someone else's plate.

@Just__J0: "I'll never understand why people can't sleep with a closet door open" I say while making sure my feet don't hang over the side of the bed.

@Just__J0: Whoever said 'carbs are not your friend' does not understand how friendship works.

@Just__J0: Day 3 of my thirty minute DIY project

@Just__J0: [Text]

18: This Hotel wants me to pay for Wi-Fi?!

Me: You do know someone pays for Wi-Fi at home too, right?

@Just__J0: A panic attack is hearing your teens laughing in another room at the same time you can't find your phone.

@Just__J0: My daughter labeled me BIRTH GIVER in her phone. I'm thinking about labeling her THANKS FOR WHAT YOU DID TO MY BODY.