@KateWhineHall: Tom's of Maine is a really good deodorant to buy if you don't mind spending a little extra to smell like you don't use deodorant.
@KateWhineHall: I cleaned off the top of my desk so I'd feel like I accomplished something. Now I just have to clean up the floor where I threw everything.
@KateWhineHall: Using self-checkout lane so I don't have to interact with anyone.
Scans first item.
Register: ... "Please wait for assistance."
@KateWhineHall: OMG, MY DAUGHTER IS DYING!
Oh, my bad, it's just her reaction to having to do a chore.
@KateWhineHall: Yesterday I watched a clip about a 71-year-old female body builder.
Today I used my pants as a napkin because the couch was too far from the kitchen.
@KateWhineHall: Pro tip-If you bring a toy boat into a hot tub and repeatedly reenact the Titanic, in a few mins you'll have the entire hot tub to yourself.
@KateWhineHall: I just searched for a picture of "desserts" and a photo of grapes popped up. What kind of sick person has grapes for dessert?
@KateWhineHall: "You're a HORRIBLE parent!"
- my daughter because I won't let her use a chainsaw to make a treehouse.