Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@KayRants : If you send multiple one sentence texts, I will mail a raccoon to your face I'm not kidding.
@KayRants: I need to stop seeing caution tape as some kind of finish line.
@KayRants: People that live in glass houses have tons of dead birds on their lawn.
@KayRants: I'll apologize for last night right after you tell me which parts you still remember.
@KayRants: Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I'm reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild.
@KayRants: Ignoring your text is easy. It's having to park my car 8 blocks away so you think I'm not home when you drive by that's awkward.