Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of KimMonte10's best tweets

@KimMonte10 : Let's raise our glasses. I'll say something then we all touch glasses to acknowledge what I said. We'll name this action after cooked bread

@KimMonte10: Starbucks job interview:

"What's your name?"

"Alyssa"

"Spell that please"

"L A R I S S A"

"When can you start?"

@KimMonte10: Cheerleaders are there to tell you that your team needs to score more points & the name of your team in case you forget at any given moment

@KimMonte10: Why would Sally sell seashells by the seashore? There are plenty there that are free. Just walk and you are bound to find at least 40. Idiot

@KimMonte10: My lasagna just took a picture of me and posted it on Instagram

@KimMonte10: Be a sharp dressed man. Buy a suit made of knives. Scare ur boss into promoting u. Cut everyone's sandwiches for them in the break room.