Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of KissabiX's best tweets

@KissabiX : [during sex] Me: yeah, you like that? Him: mmhmm yeah Me: *stopping abruptly & pointing at his mood ring* then why is that blue?

@KissabiX: Robin: I refuse to be your side chick

Batman: ...sidekick

R: *hiding overnight bag*
oh, I'll just go and get the bat-mobile ready then

@KissabiX: The Lion King is my favourite film outlining why you shouldn't trust your uncle

@KissabiX: [creating a sloth]

God: Take that roadkill over there and make it blink

@KissabiX: [sees a lion and a witch come out of a wardrobe]

Me: what have you been up to in there?

Lion: Narnia business

@KissabiX: [watches ants struggle with a chocolate & hazelnut covered golf ball I made]

They'll be so pissed when they realise it's not Ferrero Roche

@KissabiX: Shakira: It's not you, it's me

Soon to be ex boyfriend: *looks at her hips*

Shakiras hips: It totally is you, you breathe far too heavily

@KissabiX: [at a farm]

Dairy cow: Oooh that tickles

Sheep: Look I got a new "hairdo"

Chicken: Cool I didn't want to know any of my children anyway

@KissabiX: I visited you every day in hospital when you were in a coma.

They gave me free wifi & coffee, It was the best 2 months of our married life