@LinajkReturns: You have beautiful eyes.
Too bad they're attached to the head of a stark raving lunatic.
@LinajkReturns: Poached salmon on a bed of brown rice with peas or Roasted duck with polenta and organic green beans?
Choosing dog food is hard.
@LinajkReturns: Before you unleash her inner goddess, try to find out if she's channeling Aphrodite or Medusa.
@LinajkReturns: Hottest day ever recorded in November and my neighbor is already installing Christmas lights. So don't send me a fruitcake. Already got one.
@LinajkReturns: So much mascara her eyes got stuck in the closed position.
Too bad lipstick doesn't work that way.
@LinajkReturns: If he buys your drink, but you're really not interested?
Smile at him, thank him and then stick the olive up your nose.
@LinajkReturns: Talking with a 17 year-old who is 'living life with no regrets' reminds me of that time I got in a shouting match with a trout.
@LinajkReturns: If he's hot on your heels, dump him.
You do not want a man who looks better in your shoes than you do.