@Lisabug74: My husband joined me in the shower this morning. Can’t a gal eat a breakfast burrito in peace?
@Lisabug74: “Pull over! Get out of the car slowly and let me see your shoes!” - fashion police
@Lisabug74: TV: Are you prepared for an earthquake?
*thinks about the 175 Hot Pockets in the freezer*
@Lisabug74: I spilled red wine on my white pants. So I decided to sprinkle blue glitter on them too. I'm now a top seller on Etsy.
@Lisabug74: 8 out of 10 ladies at a karaoke bar who sing,“I Will Survive,” are hoping the enemies who wronged them are in the audience.
@Lisabug74: I fed my dogs spaghetti so they could kiss, but instead they’re growling over a cold meatball and not sitting still for my painting.