Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of LostFelicia's best tweets

@LostFelicia : Of course, golfing is a dignified sport.. except for that time I got a cart stuck between two trees.

@LostFelicia: I knew my kid inherited my artistic abilities back when she drew that cute little pig. She called it a dog, but whatever.

@LostFelicia: Ahh, birds chirping outside my window.
*lets the cat out*
*goes back to sleep*

@LostFelicia: I cleaned out all my closets and now it looks like a flea market threw up in my dining room.

@LostFelicia: You ever run back into a store looking for the sunglasses on top of your head?
Me neither.

@LostFelicia: My husband asked me to iron a shirt, so to be nice, I went out and bought him the same shirt with no wrinkles.

@LostFelicia: He said I was sent from above, but I wasn't sure if he meant angelic, or shit out of a bird.

@LostFelicia: My grandma taught me it's okay to use the really bad words only when someone messes with family, or when a bird shits on your head.

@LostFelicia: Definition of awkward: USPS, UPS, and FedEx making online shopping deliveries all at the same time.. just as my husband pulls in the driveway.

@LostFelicia: I made the cutest little Easter baskets with leaves and fronds. My neighbor is still wondering who sawed off the top of his palm tree.