@LoveNLunchmeat: You think they keep the lights low for ambiance, but really it's cuz that restaurant hasn't dusted since 1986.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Before gunpowder, entire wars were fought with nothing but pinecones and latent rage.
@LoveNLunchmeat: I refuse to watch shows like "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?" because I already know I'm not.
@LoveNLunchmeat: I just want to find a supplement that takes me back to my 22 year old body, skin, and hair. So magic. I'm looking for magic.
@LoveNLunchmeat: I'm scared of Botox and plastic surgery so my plan for turning 40 is Snapchat filters.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Mom bod is what happens when you spend too many years cleaning the kids' plates.
With your tongue.
@LoveNLunchmeat: MARRIED WHITE FEMALE in search of someone to remove holiday cookies and treats from her hands. Must be of strong constitution.
@LoveNLunchmeat: People are like, "You're not allowed to have a favorite child." Blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like, "BUT YOU SHOULD SEE THIS KID SHOVEL SNOW!"