Funny Tweeter

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Page of Love_bug1016's best tweets

@Love_bug1016 : *picks up phone *puts phone down *picks up phone *puts phone down *picks up phone *puts phone down *picks up phone *puts phone down *picks up phone *puts phone down *picks up phone *puts phone down ~me, doing cardio

@Love_bug1016: him: you’re not like most women
me: is it because I’ll eat an entire pizza, the fries in your hand, and a small village on a first date?

@Love_bug1016: [first date]

Him: I love Asian girls

Me: [trying to act all Asian]
*starts sweating
*attempts to pick up chopsticks
*chopstick goes flying
*stabs him in the eye

Him: No, not like that

@Love_bug1016: Me: Alexa, why can’t I ever get a guy to stick around?

Alexa: *shows a montage of me staring at my phone since 2010.

@Love_bug1016: Santa read your DMs. The only thing you're getting for Christmas is a prayer group on Facebook.

@Love_bug1016: I'm Asian, but not wears a kimono, eats dogs, owns a bonsai tree, knows how to use chopsticks, waxes on waxes off, good at the math, Asian.

@Love_bug1016: 89% of my class in high school thought I was good in math because I'm Asian. Luckily the other 27% were smarter than that.

@Love_bug1016: [trying to impress date]

Him: I want someone who's not afraid of a little PDA.

Me: *keys I WANT THE SEX into the side of his car*

@Love_bug1016: [first date]

Him: I want to marry someone who knows what commitment is.

Me: (trying to impress) I haven't put my phone down in 5 years.

@Love_bug1016: "Better safe than sorry," I tell myself as I send the 27th text telling him my feelings.