Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Love_bug1016's best tweets

@Love_bug1016 : [date] him: I loved Captain Marvel. me: Me too! him: What was your favorite part? me: *sweating* The uhhh...marveling

@Love_bug1016: [first date]

him: I love an outdoorsy kind of girl who’s also dirty in bed.

me: * trying to impress* I once slept with a hobo who lives in the woods.

@Love_bug1016: Dear chapsticks that keep getting lost,

Take me with you.

@Love_bug1016: you, an idiot: It’s pronounced worcestershire.

me, an intellectual and foodie: Actually, it’s pronounced worcestershire.

@Love_bug1016: [first date]

him: I’m a cat person.

me: [trying to impress]
*bites him when he tries holding my hand

@Love_bug1016: Nothing says you’re failing as an Asian like your waiter discreetly handing you training chopsticks.

@Love_bug1016: “You should eat only six fries per serving.” What’s next? Telling us something psycho like eating an entire pizza doesn’t count as one serving?

@Love_bug1016: It’s cute how people just rudely walk in front of my car like they don’t realize I’ll hit them and blame it on being an Asian driver.

@Love_bug1016: *picks up phone
*puts phone down
*picks up phone
*puts phone down
*picks up phone
*puts phone down
*picks up phone
*puts phone down
*picks up phone
*puts phone down
*picks up phone
*puts phone down

~me, doing cardio