Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of LuvPug's best tweets

@LuvPug : The only thing more annoying than vegans who won't shut up about being vegan is people who aren't vegan who won't shut up about vegans

@LuvPug: These people at the theater are looking at me like they've never seen a grown woman hugging a stuffed animal at a scary clown movie before

@LuvPug: Doctor: serious side effects of this medication can include death

Me: I'll take it

@LuvPug: Everyone is acting like they're all excited for the eclipse like anyone will even look up from their phone

@LuvPug: Nobody ever talks about how effective letting dogs sleep in your bed is for birth control.

@LuvPug: Nobody ever mentions one of the greatest joys of being a parent is mocking your kids in an annoying voice, repeating what they whined about

@LuvPug: If Snickers really wanted to satisfy me, it'd be like 8 inches long

@LuvPug: People on Facebook really lose their shit when you comment on their hospital check ins with 'Glad you're not too sick to post your status'

@LuvPug: I'm most like a dog when after someone has hurt me I won't get too close to them again.

Also when I'm eating food that fell on the floor.

@LuvPug: Women don't mind compliments on their shoes from under a bathroom stall, it's when you ask to try them on that they get all weird about it