@LuvPug: I wore a training bra for years and these things still don't listen to a word I say
@LuvPug: Unless someone tries to take a kneecap out with a crowbar, I have no interest in watching the Olympics.
@LuvPug: The only thing more annoying than vegans who won't shut up about being vegan is people who aren't vegan who won't shut up about vegans
@LuvPug: These people at the theater are looking at me like they've never seen a grown woman hugging a stuffed animal at a scary clown movie before
@LuvPug: Doctor: serious side effects of this medication can include death
Me: I'll take it
@LuvPug: Everyone is acting like they're all excited for the eclipse like anyone will even look up from their phone
@LuvPug: Nobody ever talks about how effective letting dogs sleep in your bed is for birth control.