Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of MamaFizzles's best tweets

@MamaFizzles : I used to think it would be fun to be a contestant on Chopped, then I birthed my own mini judges who criticize and reject everything I cook.

@MamaFizzles: My kids made a mess this morning pretending to be leprechauns. They don't know it yet, but after school they get to pretend to be janitors.

@MamaFizzles: 11yo said he can't wait to grow up so he won't have to do chores anymore. I had forgotten how cathartic it is to laugh until you cry.

@MamaFizzles: The children were nestled
all snug in their beds
until they had to pee
get a drink
show me they can whistle
and ask me if birds have teeth.

@MamaFizzles: Saw 2 of my kids hugging and then realized they were choking each other and was like, ok, that makes more sense.