Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of MaraWilson's best tweets

@MaraWilson : 364 DAYS: Astrology's silly and baseless and I'm not a conceited Leo at all ON MY BIRTHDAY: It's still baseless but please worship me today

@MaraWilson: May my enemies all have to walk several miles in wet jeans

@MaraWilson: I’m always surprised how long disco and early ‘80s dance songs are, until I remember cocaine

@MaraWilson: I recently got invited to a party with lots of attractive people and learned that I am very good at being ignored by lots of attractive people

@MaraWilson: ME: I know a good amount of things
CROSSWORD PUZZLES: lol

@MaraWilson: I get all snooty about Great British Bake Off contestants doing things wrong like two years ago I wasn't googling "what is shoe pastry"

@MaraWilson: How confused about the world are you right now, on a scale of 0 to "trying to figure out a friend's shower"

@MaraWilson: The girl who once told me "If I'm not married by the time I'm 30, kill me" got married recently at 29 and WHEW is that a load off my mind

@MaraWilson: ME: If we get nuked I hope my cats live. They can eat my corpse for sustenance. I'd be fine with that.
DAD: So you're still single

@MaraWilson: "Oh my god I LOVE this song" -Me, listening to a Favorite Songs playlist I made