Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of MaraWritesStuff's best tweets

@MaraWritesStuff : *Weather changes* BODY: This is weird. Must have an asthma attack. *Anything else changes* MIND: This is weird. Must have a panic attack.

@MaraWritesStuff: "Your former crush likes this thing"

"Your former crush likes this thing"

"Your former crush likes this thing"

-Facebook

@MaraWritesStuff: I still can't believe it when someone in the bathroom stall next to me is talking on the phone

I mean, who TALKS on the phone

@MaraWritesStuff: I was only mildly famous in the '90s but vaccinate your kids

@MaraWritesStuff: "You kids and your smartphones, when we were your age we just dealt with having nothing to do with our hands."
*Lights another cigarette*

@MaraWritesStuff: Adele is an amazing singer. The problem is, when one of her songs comes on, everyone else thinks they are, too

@MaraWritesStuff: BROTHER: The Godfather is on? That's not very Thanksgiving-y.
ME: Well, it's about family...

@MaraWritesStuff: What is wrong with Riverdale that ARCHIE was the best option?

@MaraWritesStuff: Push me aside, but I will come back. Hide me, but I will always emerge.
I AM POWER.
I AM RESILIENCE.
I AM A BRA STRAP.