Funny Tweeter

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Page of Marcmywords2's best tweets

@Marcmywords2 : It's been 536 days, 5hrs 16min since I've spoken to my ex, so clearly I've moved on.

@Marcmywords2: No thanks Olive Garden, the last place I wanna eat is somewhere that treats me like family.

@Marcmywords2: Just used the phrase "my good coat hanger", if you're wondering if I have a Swiss Bank Account.

@Marcmywords2: People in my office act like they've never seen someone in formal working pajamas before.

@Marcmywords2: *calls bullshit

Bullshit: Who gave you my number.

@Marcmywords2: "Where you going, we're in the middle of a conversation."

OMG! This is just the middle.

Annnnnd that's how the fight started.

@Marcmywords2: For cardio, I drive before the windshield is defrosted.

@Marcmywords2: Sure boss, I'd love to take on some extra work, I have like 7-8 free hours a night where all I do is sleep anyway.

@Marcmywords2: The family you've pictured in your mind, is never the one that shows up at the BBQ.

@Marcmywords2: It wouldn't kill this religion to throw a virgin in a volcano every now & then.

Anyway, thats why they removed the suggestion box from Mass