Funny Tweeter

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Page of Marcmywords2's best tweets

@Marcmywords2 : Sure boss, I'd love to take on some extra work, I have like 7-8 free hours a night where all I do is sleep anyway.

@Marcmywords2: The family you've pictured in your mind, is never the one that shows up at the BBQ.

@Marcmywords2: It wouldn't kill this religion to throw a virgin in a volcano every now & then.

Anyway, thats why they removed the suggestion box from Mass

@Marcmywords2: Ok guys, if anyone asks about what happened to this gallon of ice cream, I was mugged by a family of 8.

@Marcmywords2: I hate when you go to a surprise party, and all anyone wants to do is talk about your drug problem.

@Marcmywords2: Ok 1st off, who exactly is "we" in "we have to go on a diet", and more importantly, why is there salad on the plate where my food should be.

@Marcmywords2: Drugs CAN make your life
miserable but if you wanna
leave no room for error,
try a Marriage Certificate.

@Marcmywords2: She texted me, "I love U"

So I texted. "I love U2....
Not their new stuff but from like the
90's"

Now my CD's are missing.

Weird!

@Marcmywords2: Hey dad, the hospital called, patients
are trying to rest, could you please turn
down your television.