@MarcusTheToken: Sometimes when people talk to me, I scream and beat my chest. It not only establishes dominance, but tells them to go away.
@MarcusTheToken: A kiss begins with K. But it's also just a text from someone who doesn't want to have a conversation with you.
@MarcusTheToken: St. Patrick's Day is the day we all watch Ghost and Dirty Dancing in honor of Patrick Swayze.
@MarcusTheToken: Whenever I'm on a flight and a bald person sits next to me, it takes a ton of willpower not to draw on their head when they are sleep.
@MarcusTheToken: I left some acorns in the spot where I killed a squirrel because I'm thoughtful. Also because a gang of squirrels burned a cross in my yard.
@MarcusTheToken: At this wedding, the DJ played The Black Eyed Peas, everyone left the dance floor. I like these people.
@MarcusTheToken: My neighbors are arguing. So I threw 6 shoes in the dryer. They haven't said a word since.
@MarcusTheToken: Unless you're a direct descendent of a horse, don't chew with your mouth open.
@MarcusTheToken: Ok I just started watching House M.D.:nn1 Does everyone gang up and beat House's other leg?n2 does a rival Token come in to challenge Omar?