Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Mardigroan's best tweets

@Mardigroan : Oh rental car. Oh rental car. Your gas tank is not on the side I thought.

@Mardigroan: If you throw your hands in the air like you just don't care make sure you put your coffee cup down first.

I know that now.

@Mardigroan: "How is tofu made?"

Well, when an edamame loves an edadade very much....

@Mardigroan: *writes in climate's year book "Best of luck. Don't ever change!"*

@Mardigroan: *Brings a dozen unsliced bagels to a knife fight*

"Hey, a little help here?"

@Mardigroan: Why do they sell clementines in an orange fish net package? They're already sexy.

@Mardigroan: I'm not straight up gangster but I'm working on improving my posture.

@Mardigroan: Holiday cards, when you care enough to let friends, family, customers & clients see how your handwriting hasn't improved since fourth grade.

@Mardigroan: It's the eye of the tiger.
It's the spleen of a sheep.