Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Mardigroan's best tweets

@Mardigroan : Why do they sell clementines in an orange fish net package? They're already sexy.

@Mardigroan: I'm not straight up gangster but I'm working on improving my posture.

@Mardigroan: Holiday cards, when you care enough to let friends, family, customers & clients see how your handwriting hasn't improved since fourth grade.

@Mardigroan: It's the eye of the tiger.
It's the spleen of a sheep.

@Mardigroan: Trump says he'll make Oasis pay for a wonder wall.

@Mardigroan: This gym has a very strict rule no denim jeans or jorts. But if you're 300 lbs of muscle & attitude, apparently it's merely a suggestion.

@Mardigroan: Luke, I am your uncle.
Luke, I am your third cousin.
Luke, I am your grandmother.

- Skywalker family reunion