@MariyaAlexander: Why don't men ever think to do helpful catcalls like "YO SEXY THE SIDEWALK IS CLOSED AT THE END OF THIS BLOCK - CONSIDER REROUTING, MAMI!"
@MariyaAlexander: [trying to make friends as an adult]
May I interest you in tolerating me for a moment
@MariyaAlexander: "I'm liking where this is going" I said, pointing to a potato chip making its way toward my face.
@MariyaAlexander: More "kills" on Tinder than any man in the history of online dating, Bradley Cooper is.... American Swiper.
@MariyaAlexander: They should just report when there WASN'T a shooting in Florida at this point
@MariyaAlexander: People need to stop posting denigrating photo memes of animals; they have dignity and deserve respect. Oh that's Rick Santorum? Ok carry on.
@MariyaAlexander: Cops have a new radar that lets them see through walls into our homes but imagine if this technology fell into the wrong hands! Oh wait...