Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Mickey_McCauley's best tweets

@Mickey_McCauley : Flirtation tip: glue a dead wasp to your hand before the date, then snatch at the air beside her head and show her the wasp. Say "close one"

@Mickey_McCauley: The main problem with gay marriage is when two men hold the knife to cut the cake they will be too strong and cut through the plate & table.

@Mickey_McCauley: "The book was way better" - hobo trying to burn a DVD for warmth

@Mickey_McCauley: Unfaithful Russian men come home to find all their stuff in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box on the sidewalk.

@Mickey_McCauley: For every hour that passes without payment, I will teach another hostage "Wonderwall" on acoustic guitar and release him back to you