Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of MikeOdenthal's best tweets

@MikeOdenthal : Think about how many variations of apple there would be had they not mercy-killed the pineapple guy before he could name more fruits

@MikeOdenthal: i hate sex and have no libido but i still date because i love explaining to women why the music they like is bad

@MikeOdenthal: The best writerly advice is to start each paragraph w "Here's somethin for ya!" as the reader is now engaged & will follow you anywhere

@MikeOdenthal: Given how, when I try to eat a banana, I end up holding the peel while the actual fruit falls to the floor, I'm ok never handling a firearm.