Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of MindyFurano's best tweets

@MindyFurano : me linking you to my twitter

@MindyFurano: if you can't handle me at my worst is there another preferably more affordable therapist you can refer me to

@MindyFurano: Flipped over my therapist's writing pad and it was just a New York Times crossword with "shut up" written in every blank.

@MindyFurano: person: can you keep a secret?
me: I'll never share what you say but it will weigh on me and negatively affect my life
person: oh thank god

@MindyFurano: Nervous around the person you like? Sue them. They'll be forced to see you in court, well dressed & in control. Let the law be your wingman.

@MindyFurano: Juicing changed my life. I went from being overweight, to being overweight and owning a juicer.

@MindyFurano: my ex has had a really hard time moving on. from what i can tell through his blinds, he is currently eating (something we always did)

@MindyFurano: Kissing someone mid sentence is only cute in movies. I will press my hand against your face and slowly push it way until I'm done talking.

@MindyFurano: Shit. Gotta huge job interview tomorrow and I have no clue where I put my prom dress