@MomOnFire: One day, when my kids are grown with their own homes, I'll come over, grind food into all of their keyboards and lie about it.
@MomOnFire: After three days of uncontrolled laughing, random face slapping, and running into the ocean in ball gowns, I threw away my Dior perfume.
@MomOnFire: No one helped Cinderella when she hallucinated and talked to rats, cause people are garbage smh
@MomOnFire: Big Foot rental costumes are surprisingly realistic and terrifying at 4am around the bonfire at the party I wasn't invited to.
@MomOnFire: Whenever I feel sorry for myself, I take my children to the grocery store. And then there's like 40 people feeling sorry for me.
@MomOnFire: Them: You're burnt out.
T: You need a break
T: I'm worried.
M: Okay. Will you watch my kids for a minute?
T: Hell no.
@MomOnFire: H: Something's wrong with you.
H: No, like for real.
M: Yes, I told you that from day one.
H: But you were kidding...
M: Haha, no.
@MomOnFire: Stop talking. They are staring at you. You are saying bizarre things.
-An Inner Monologue