Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Mom_Overboard's best tweets

@Mom_Overboard : Baby Timberlake: ACHOO! *Both Timberlake parents reach for a tissue* Justin: OMG we are so... Jessica: DON'T say it. Justin: ...N*Sync

@Mom_Overboard: Women are scary.

Take me, for example...I said goodnight to a guy, weeks ago, and he's so afraid to say the wrong thing, he STILL hasn't replied.

@Mom_Overboard: Receptionist: Psychiatric Unit, can I help you?

Me: Yes, I'd like to make a reservation...

@Mom_Overboard: Arranged my own kidnapping.

Found out after the fact that there's no actual napping involved.

I'm awake, in a trunk. This is bullshit.

@Mom_Overboard: What happens when Christopher's car breaks down?

Christopher Walken

@Mom_Overboard: Yeah I do yoga.

Ninja Yoga.

I'm so good at it, you won't even see me there.

@Mom_Overboard: Don't go hunting down relationships or looking for love. Let it find you. Naturally.

You know, like a jogger finding a body on the trails.

@Mom_Overboard: I think we all know that Hungry Eyes was written about pizza.

@Mom_Overboard: Me: Dare me to find out how many Reese's peanut butter cups can fit in my mouth?!

Date: What's happening right n-

Me: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

@Mom_Overboard: They should make a sister store to "Forever 21" called "So Now You're 35" where you can buy sensible pants and soft sweaters & take naps.