@Mom_Overboard : Me, sick: *filling up my Vicks humidifier*
Him: Is that... Are you filling that with vodka?
Me: Who are you my doctor? VAPOR IS VAPOR
@Mom_Overboard: Anyone: You go girl!
Me: Omg, ok. Yes. Finally. *walks away*
@Mom_Overboard: Inventing The Octopus-
God: *watching humans freak out over spiders on land* Hey you know what would be HILARIOUS...?
@Mom_Overboard: Who decided to call it a muffin top and not a belly donut?
@Mom_Overboard: If my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, I'm handing them rakes.
@Mom_Overboard: No I will not change my password.
If someone wants this life, they can have it.
@Mom_Overboard: [Extremely heavy metal voice]
HELL YES I WOULD LOVE TO HOLD YOUR BABY
@Mom_Overboard: My Transformers name would be Past Her Prime.
@Mom_Overboard: *tumbles down basement stairs, laundry flying everywhere*
Me: *whispers through pain* parkour...
@Mom_Overboard: Boy, was I disappointed when I found out canoodling doesn't involve actual noodles.