Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of MrSpoonicorn's best tweets

@MrSpoonicorn : what if plants could talk but they are still in shock from seeing the dinosaurs

@MrSpoonicorn: *cop slams bag of weed down on table*
"EXPLAIN."
"its not mine officer i swea-
"oh quit the crap Bulbasaur we know you're the grass type"

@MrSpoonicorn: *1st time at gym*
*picks up weight*
how do i equip this
*steps on treadmill*
can i get exp on here
*taps huge guy*
do you sell mana potions

@MrSpoonicorn: *i got to get into bed but theres a walrus in there*
*i ask him politely to move*
*he wont move*
*i have to sleep on the floor & im annoyed*

@MrSpoonicorn: *Gandalf rollerblades into the club*
"YO DJ PLAY SOME DIRTY DUBSTE--
*slips on a drink & lands flat on face* "SCRAP THAT CALL AN AMBULANCE

@MrSpoonicorn: *sits gf down*
i am about to ask you a big question. if you dont know the answer then thats ok... *clears throat* where is the space jam dvd

@MrSpoonicorn: *a tree branch bursts into a bank with a gun*
"THIS IS A STICK UP"
*everyone laughs*
"GUYS IM SERIOUS"
*more laughter*
"DAMN IT"
*leaves*

@MrSpoonicorn: there there son
*crouches down & wipes his tears*
its ok, dont go crying over spilt mil-- YOU GOT IT ON THE XBOX!? no NO. call 911. CALL 911

@MrSpoonicorn: i hate it when Darth Vader puts eggs in my mailbox and then rides away on a kids tricycle

@MrSpoonicorn: yells "PARKOUR" then strokes a dog the wrong way, the camera zooms in on the dogs face, he portrays mild annoyance