@MsFoxIfUrNasty: I just heard a dad at the gas station talk to his kid in a creepy Emperor Palpatine voice. At least MY dad just yelled like a normal psycho.
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: [housefly pilot training]
Instructor: You encounter a window! What do you do?
X: Test the same 3 spots for weakness?
I: Repeatedly! Good.
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: [at BBQ]
Wow...trying to wrap my mouth around this bratwurst reminds me of my first high school boyfriend.
He hated bratwurst.
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: M: I have what they call animal magnetism.
H: *sidles up to me*
*winks* Oh yeah?
M: Uh-huh. *points to squirrel affixed to stray cat*
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: M: If my chip:salsa ratio isn't perfectly even, I will burn down this restaurant, I swear to God.
H: This is our house.
M: I SWEAR TO GOD!
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: Anyone else notice how Barney the Dinosaur is basically a T-rex & parents had no qualms about leaving their children with an apex predator?
W: I'm really into astronomy.
M: Oh! What's your sign?
W: The one that knows the difference between science & superstitious idiocy.
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: There are so many songs that tell us how to breathe. It's like musicians and songwriters have never heard of the autonomic nervous system.
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: [at gym]
*spends 45 minutes untangling headphones
*drops phone, squats to pick it up
Phew! Good workout!