@Nahdude83: "Sir, how may I help you?"
*swivels around in chair*
-- A coffee please!
"Did you bring that chair in here?"
@Nahdude83: [10 mins into couples therapy]
Therapist: I cannot help you two.
Me: Let's go, Betsy! See! She doesn't listen!
T: GET YOUR DOG OFF MY COUCH!
@Nahdude83: Joe: If you love it so much why don't you marry it?
[Two weeks later]
Jim: Meet my new wife!
*holds up Joe's wife's potato salad*
@Nahdude83: *DJ scratches a sick mix*
[crowd goes wild]
*DJ scratches a puppy's ear*
*DJ scratches Lotto ticket*
@Nahdude83: A roasted peanut is a regular peanut that was made fun of by celebrity peanuts.
@Nahdude83: I was making breakfast, then "She's a maniac" came on the radio... Everything is a blur.
Why am I so tired? Why am I in this steel factory?