@NicCageMatch: My dog is starting a food blog where she writes about the delicious flavors of the various paper napkins she finds and eats.
@NicCageMatch: The turkey is the luckiest one at the Thanksgiving table because it's already dead.
@NicCageMatch: I would have suggested they just use a regular volleyball, but I guess the Olympics are special.
@NicCageMatch: Contents of my wallet just spilled all over the cashier's counter, so embarrassing, spiders everywhere.
@NicCageMatch: The rats outside my apartment building are getting very bold. One of them just asked me for my number.
@NicCageMatch: Do people lifting with their knees and backs know about using their hands?
@NicCageMatch: Learn from your mistakes. Make better & better mistakes until you're making the best mistakes possible.
@NicCageMatch: Overheard a woman telling another woman "It's $150 and she supplies all the turtles" and whatever it is, I'm in.
@NicCageMatch: Ugh why is my bag so heavy? *goes through bag* ok keys, wallet, book, sandwich, water, anvil, other sandwich, human baby, no I need all this