Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of NrouteHQ's best tweets

@NrouteHQ : Me: can I see the dessert menu please? Waiter: No. Not before you finish your vegetables. ~family owned restaurants.

@NrouteHQ: Me: I wanna be ugly

Genie: you got 3 wishes left

@NrouteHQ: Who called it laughing gas and not comical weapon?

@NrouteHQ: Customer service: how can I help you?

Me: yeah, I’d like to change my security question. My favorite kid is now Josh

@NrouteHQ: King Crab: look at me, I have delicious legs

Imitation Crab *with funny voice*: look at me, I have delicious legs