@OakHill_: Twitter: she's on to us
Me: No no..it doesn't matter, I love you
Twitter: I'm just an app
Me: 'Presses finger to twitter lips. Shhhhhh
@OakHill_: My nine year old stayed home with me today. The time is 11:30 am.
She has spoken more words today than I did in December.
@OakHill_: 911: How can I help you?
Me: MY HAND IS STUCK IN THIS PRINGLES CAN... I'M PANICKING
911: Let go of the chip Sir
Me: oh, ok....all good now
@OakHill_: Quidditch: A magical game played by aspiring wizards.
Squiditch: The most feared of all the Ocean STDs.
@OakHill_: Merry Christmas to everyone except the guy who wrote the instructions on how to put this trampoline together.
Me: What does Winnie sleep in?
10: Dad... no
10: I’ll go straight to sleep if you’ll just stop.