Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of ObscureGent's best tweets

@ObscureGent : [Last day in prison] *Walks up to the biggest guy* Hey man, sorry about that first day stuff.

@ObscureGent: *God creating Eminem*

This one will really hate his mom, but also be really obsessed with her spaghetti.

@ObscureGent: For a good time go up to strangers and mistake them for unattractive celebrities.

@ObscureGent: If Michael Jackson wasn't buried in his Thriller outfit, who will teach the zombies to dance in the upcoming apocalypse.

@ObscureGent: Joseph: I swear I just heard the wind call your name
Mary: um, that was probably...god
Joseph: God sounded a lot like our neighbor Jeff

@ObscureGent: Somewhere there's a bat that witnessed their parents murder who now dresses like a human.

@ObscureGent: My daughter says she saw a demon in her room. I'm tweeting this from the safety of my office wishing her a lot of luck.

@ObscureGent: All those years of school never taught me the most important life lesson. Green gummy bears are strawberry flavored.

@ObscureGent: Can't go to sleep. I'm not sure if I should blame the cup of coffee I had at noon or vintage clown doll sitting at the foot of my bed.

@ObscureGent: Make your day better by imagining people you don't like floating helplessly into the sun.