Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of OctopusCaveman's best tweets

@OctopusCaveman : Next time you hand someone a roll of toilet paper under the stall, hold their hand for a while. Let them know it's gonna be okay.

@OctopusCaveman: Some people have this weird super power where they smell like their shampoo for hours after showering.

@OctopusCaveman: When you have children, sometimes you see a glimmer of your personality shine in them, and in that moment you know why your mom drank.

@OctopusCaveman: I'm thinking about getting a dog so I'm not the only one in this household who goes apeshit when the pizza guy rings the doorbell.