Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of OhNoSheTwitnt's best tweets

@OhNoSheTwitnt : No thanks, haunted houses. I can walk down the street at night being terrified some man is going to jump out at me for free.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Pretty metal of Betty White to trend every time someone else dies.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Imagine "are you ready for some football?" sung to the tune of "Do You Want To Build A Snowman?" Yes I'm trying to ruin this for everyone.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: 🎶 Take me down to the cubicle city where the boss is mean and the pay is shitty 🎶

@OhNoSheTwitnt: "Where do babies comes from?"

Well, son, when a man and a woman love each other very much they make poor decisions.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: "Should we take the kayak or just walk out to the sandbar?" -Row versus wade.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Excited for Game of Thrones tonight because it'll be nice to see civilized political discourse for a change.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: A Harry Potter spinoff series that focuses on Hermione's origin story called Granger Things.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Waking up in 2016: [immediately makes coffee]

Waking up in 2017: [immediately checks to see if WW3 has started]

@OhNoSheTwitnt: David Duke says Jews aren't white. Eric Trump says Democrats aren't people. So I guess today begins my new life as a purple dragon.