Funny Tweeter

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Page of OhNoSheTwitnt's best tweets

@OhNoSheTwitnt : [in court] Judge: You're the prosecutor? Prosecutor: Yes. Judge: So then who is this? Me: (flips hair) I'm the prosecutest.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Just found out there's a bug called the tarantula hawk wasp and I'm like holy shit maybe just pick one terrifying predator to name it after.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: I wish airlines would stop calling it your "final destination" have they not seen those movies?

@OhNoSheTwitnt: There should be LEGO movies of everything. LEGO Die Hard. LEGO John Wick. Hell I'd even watch LEGO 50 Shades of Grey.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Weather channel: It's going to get up into the mid-30's this afternoon but it'll still feel like it's in the teens.

Me: Literally me.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Coworker: What are those chocolate coins you guys get on Hanukkah called?
Me: Gelt.
Coworker: Guilt?
Me: No, Jews get that all year round.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: [coworker starts talking to me at my cubicle]
Welp, nice chatting. This is my stop.
[puts in earbuds]

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Trump: 🎶 Do you wanna build a snowman? 🎶

Elsa: Who will pay for this snowman?

Trump: 🎶 Ok byeee 🎶

@OhNoSheTwitnt: They should punish kids who do well in school with more homework to prepare them for what happens to people who are efficient at their jobs.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: All of Ariel's mer-sisters' names started with A too. More like keeping up with the Karsplashians.