Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of OhNoSheTwitnt's best tweets

@OhNoSheTwitnt : [cuts open a gender reveal cake and several black cats pop out] Oh hell yes we’re having a witch!

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Can’t wait for Game of Thrones to come back because I miss civilized political discourse.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Writer: So this movie is about a little girl and her dog and...

Disney: Her parents die. Brilliant.

Writer: No.

Disney: Just her mom?

Writer: No.

Disney: Her dad?

Writer: No.

Disney: So then who dies? The girl? The dog?

Writer: Nobody dies!

Disney: Get out.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: A lot of your 30’s involves finding out that the bartender is younger than you and so is your doctor.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Just saw the first robin of the year so you know what that means. Batman can't be far behind.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Happy 18th birthday, millennium! Now that you’re an adult, please stop acting like an angsty teen and lashing out at us like we’re your parents.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Actually, Sleeping Beauty is the name of the movie. You mean your favorite Disney princess is Aurora. Though I’m not sure how she can be your favorite if you don’t even know her name.

Woman at Starbucks ahead of me: Please stop correcting my daughter. She’s 5.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Anna: If you don't wanna build a snowman I feel bad for you, son.
Elsa: I got 99 problems but the cold ain't one.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Jacob Marley: Tonight you’ll be visited by 2 ghosts.

Scrooge: I thought it was 3.

Jacob Marley: Lol no it’s 2017 there is no future.