Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of OhNoSheTwitnt's best tweets

@OhNoSheTwitnt : Just saw the first robin of the year so you know what that means. Batman can't be far behind.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Happy 18th birthday, millennium! Now that you’re an adult, please stop acting like an angsty teen and lashing out at us like we’re your parents.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Actually, Sleeping Beauty is the name of the movie. You mean your favorite Disney princess is Aurora. Though I’m not sure how she can be your favorite if you don’t even know her name.

Woman at Starbucks ahead of me: Please stop correcting my daughter. She’s 5.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Anna: If you don't wanna build a snowman I feel bad for you, son.
Elsa: I got 99 problems but the cold ain't one.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Jacob Marley: Tonight you’ll be visited by 2 ghosts.

Scrooge: I thought it was 3.

Jacob Marley: Lol no it’s 2017 there is no future.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: [interviewing Matt Damon]

Matt: Well, in this movie I play-

Me: (cuts him off) I’m more interested in talking about the roles you AREN’T playing.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: What idiot decided to call it a narcotics-sniffing dog instead of a drug lab?

@OhNoSheTwitnt: No thanks, haunted houses. I can walk down the street at night being terrified some man is going to jump out at me for free.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Pretty metal of Betty White to trend every time someone else dies.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Imagine "are you ready for some football?" sung to the tune of "Do You Want To Build A Snowman?" Yes I'm trying to ruin this for everyone.