Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of OuterJohn's best tweets

@OuterJohn : 1) Throw a ball of yarn into a fencing battle 2) Wait until the fight is over 3) Retrieve your fully-knitted sweater

@OuterJohn: I hate it when I'm digging my own grave at gunpoint and I discover buried treasure.

@OuterJohn: Raise your arms and run through the police crime scene tape like you're finishing a marathon.

@OuterJohn: When people do a bunny impression they go straight for the cute little front paws. Not me. I fearfully sprint into traffic.