Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of PajamaStew's best tweets

@PajamaStew : Bad Coroner: This guy you brought in a few days ago, I think I know how he died. The last thing he ate was spaghetti with bullets in it.

@PajamaStew: Me to Copilot: Does "d73H" mean anything to you?
Copilot: Hmm... No. Why?
Me: That nerd down there on the beach seems to think it does.

@PajamaStew: Twitter is the only place where it's actually BORING to discover that you are being followed by hundreds of robots.

@PajamaStew: If human civilization had a narrator it would just be some guy repeating "Little did they know..." over and over and over.

@PajamaStew: "Welcome to the future. Let me show you around. Here's the bathroom. This is a robot that we invented that screams at your wet hands."

@PajamaStew: "How about if the villain is a psychopath out to make a skin suit?"
- Not in a kids movie, dude.
"Ok, but it's puppy skin?"
- Oh, then YES!

@PajamaStew: Through a telescope, I see a woman on a planet light years away.
She waves.
I wave.
I awkwardly realize she is waving to the guy behind me.