Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of ParentNormal's best tweets

@ParentNormal : I can't tell if my baby is a slow clapper or is starting a slow clap to mock my parenting.

@ParentNormal: VOICEMAIL: I'm sorry I can't come to the phone right now, my toddler typed the wrong password 200 times so I can't try again until next year

@ParentNormal: 3yo: I want to help!

Me: You can help by being quiet.

3yo:

Me:

3yo: I want to help in a different way!!!

@ParentNormal: VOICEMAIL: I'm sorry I can't come to the phone right now, my toddler typed the wrong password 200 times so I can't try again until next year

@ParentNormal: Made a pact w/ my wife that if we’re 40 & kids haven’t stopped whining, we’ll meet at top of the Empire State Building so they can’t find us