Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of PimpleEye's best tweets

@PimpleEye : I always carry cake, just in case someone pulls a knife on me.

@PimpleEye: The road to hell is paved.

That's nice.

@PimpleEye: It's not that I don't like drinking, it's just I find that my aim when throwing bottles in your face is allot more accurate when I'm sober.

@PimpleEye: You know what I love about people who buy followers?

I can laugh at their expense.

@PimpleEye: My ex's ex and my left hand are dating.

@PimpleEye: You're so vein, you probably think this bloody cut is about you.

@PimpleEye: Thanks for the Facebook invite to your wedding cheapass. Please enjoy this FarmVille mystery gift on the occasion of your marriage.