Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of PinkCamoTO's best tweets

@PinkCamoTO : Interviewer: How do you define success? Me: Being able to buy bacon when it's not on sale.

@PinkCamoTO: I have no milkshakes. No one comes to my yard. The grass looks fantastic.

@PinkCamoTO: Crime and Punishment is my favourite novel about family vacations.

@PinkCamoTO: The woman beside me is reading a cocktail recipe book like a novel and I'm pretty sure I found my soul mate.

@PinkCamoTO: My boss encouraged us to think about why we come to work every day.
I don't think "I need money to live" was the answer she was looking for.

@PinkCamoTO: 8yo: Geez Mom. Haven't you ever heard of privacy?

Me: Not since you were born.

@PinkCamoTO: Nothing makes me feel more beautiful than when the woman waxing my eyebrows asks if I want my moustache done too.

@PinkCamoTO: *lies down in bed*
*closes eyes*
*gets comfortable and relaxes*

Brain: *blows into mic* *tap tap* Okay, so where was I...

@PinkCamoTO: If we've learned anything from history...

I'd be amazed.

@PinkCamoTO: The yogurt was so far back in the cooler at the store, I almost ended up in an Aha video.