Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of PinkCamoTO's best tweets

@PinkCamoTO : Me: Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies. Minister: That's not really appropriate for wedding vows.

@PinkCamoTO: I'm so glad I had a kid so instead of relaxing in the bath, I can have someone explain Minecraft to me in painful detail.

@PinkCamoTO: Autocorrect just changed "I'm wise" to "I'm wide" so I should probably put down this donut.

@PinkCamoTO: Helped a stranger at the gym write a break up text today so yeah, that English degree is really paying off.

@PinkCamoTO: Me: I hate people.

H: I challenge you to say something positive.

Me: I'm positive I hate people.

@PinkCamoTO: I feel like people who end up on Dateline for committing murder don't watch enough Dateline to plan their crimes accordingly.

@PinkCamoTO: Tried a sample of rosemary mint body wash today and now I smell like a very clean roast chicken.

@PinkCamoTO: Me: What are you doing?
H: Fantasy football.
M: Which football players are you fantasizing about?
M: Is that not how it works?

@PinkCamoTO: 🎶 That's me in the corner
That's me in the spot light
Eating a banana 🎶

@PinkCamoTO: Sorry I missed your wedding, but Netflix just autoplays the next episode now.