Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of PinkCamoTO's best tweets

@PinkCamoTO : Interviewer: What would you like to get out of this job? Me: As many free office supplies as possible.

@PinkCamoTO: 7: Are monsters real Mommy?

Me: Yes, they are. They're in my office and they "reply all" on emails.

@PinkCamoTO: Physiotherapist: So tell me how you injured yourself?

Me: Rock climbing.

PT:

Me:

PT:

Me: *whispers* taking off my sports bra.

@PinkCamoTO: Interviewer: How do you define success?

Me: Being able to buy bacon when it's not on sale.

@PinkCamoTO: I have no milkshakes. No one comes to my yard. The grass looks fantastic.

@PinkCamoTO: Crime and Punishment is my favourite novel about family vacations.

@PinkCamoTO: The woman beside me is reading a cocktail recipe book like a novel and I'm pretty sure I found my soul mate.

@PinkCamoTO: My boss encouraged us to think about why we come to work every day.
I don't think "I need money to live" was the answer she was looking for.

@PinkCamoTO: 8yo: Geez Mom. Haven't you ever heard of privacy?

Me: Not since you were born.

@PinkCamoTO: Nothing makes me feel more beautiful than when the woman waxing my eyebrows asks if I want my moustache done too.