Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of RandomManik's best tweets

@RandomManik : My gym instructor says that Warm-Ups are extremely necessary. So, I brought donuts along this time but I can't find the microwave oven.

@RandomManik: -So how can we help you today Mr Benson?

"Please. Mr Benson was my father."

-Alright. So how can we help you today Mr Bensonson?

@RandomManik: Everything brightened up when you came into our presence.

- Food in my refrigerator.

@RandomManik: Yes, I have read 'Game Of Thrones'.
No, It is not any different from the show.

-Me, after watching Game of Thrones with subtitles.

@RandomManik: If I were a millionaire, I'd probably sign up Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow for a movie called, 'Salt' & 'Pepper'.

@RandomManik: My school always awarded dictionaries to the spelling bee winners. Which was weird because it should actually be awarded to the losers.

@RandomManik: Sometimes I ponder over things like,

-What is life?

-Where am I going?

&

-What the hell is a "spokes" person for a bike company called?

@RandomManik: Mary Had a Little Lamb, Little Lamb, Little Lamb.

Maybe she wasn't that hungry.

@RandomManik: Out of all Katherine Heigl films, I enjoyed the one where she starts with being a prude but ends up having fun with a guy and falls in love.

@RandomManik: Every crime show turns into sitcom when the cops bring the husband for questioning and he asks,

"Why would anyone want to kill their wife?"