@RealDMK: Anytime I cannot find my kids I just go to the bathroom and wait for them to barge in
@RealDMK: Buy followers?
No thanks. I'm married so I spend enough money on people I don't talk to
@RealDMK: I think High School birth control classes should just be forcing the students to watch videos of me taking my 3 kids to the grocery store
@RealDMK: "Daddy, I want to watch Dora." Sweetie this is Dora. It's the one where she plays an NBA basketball game against the Brooklyn Nets
@RealDMK: Whenever someone with a bumper sticker cuts me off I automatically dislike the cause they support. Right now I'm not too fond of Literacy
@RealDMK: Daughter (5): "Daddy your tummy is big and bouncy just like our trampoline"
Me: "Well you're short and can't spell chrysanthemum"
@RealDMK: If I ever go missing, just follow my kids. They can find me no matter where I try to hide!