@Reverend_Scott: CYCLOPS: what's that screaming?
PROF. X: I maxed out the difficulty in the danger room
WOLVERINE: [running through the aisles of a virtual grocery store trying to avoid talking to neighbors, old class mates, and ex gfs] NOOOOOOOOOO
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I stopped u?
"To compliment my hair?"
Cop: [looking down moving toe around in the dirt] Maaaaybe.
@Reverend_Scott: FRIEND: wanna come over?
ME: what's your dog up to?
FRIEND: um, she's at the groomer-
ME: THEN WHY ASK ME OVER
@Reverend_Scott: WIFE: He never pays any attention to me. All he cares about is that dog.
THERAPIST: is this true?
ME: [sewing swim trunks for the dog] is what true?
@Reverend_Scott: mugger: YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE
me: My best friend will protect me
mugger: Haha, right-
[my dog appears spinning dual nunchucks]
@Reverend_Scott: GOD: I call those trees and plants
ANGEL: very beautiful
GOD: ya I'm gonna make some people allergic to them
ANGEL: dude who hurt you
@Reverend_Scott: [history class in 2069]
TEACHER: how did the Civil War begin?
ME: when the United Nations prepared to pass the Sokovia Accords, which would establish a UN panel to oversee and control The Avengers, Iron Man and Captain America were divided.