@Reverend_Scott: BELLE: I love you
BEAST: You broke the curse!
[transforms into hideously ugly man]
BELLE: Welp, guess you're all good. I gotta roll. Peace
@Reverend_Scott: SON: What will happen when I die?
DAD: Well son, you know how all dogs go to heaven?
DAD: You're not a dog.
@Reverend_Scott: RANGER: watch out for wolves
ME: oh ya?
RANGER: so relentless-
[wolf runs up w/ bible] HAVE U HEARD ABOUT OUR LORD & SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST
@Reverend_Scott: WIFE: What are you doing?
ME: IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
WIFE: You're teaching the dog karate?
ME: Then it's exactly what it looks like.
@Reverend_Scott: DOG 911: what's your emer-
DOG: MY HUMAN SAID "WALK" WHILE TALKING
DOG 911: so?
DOG: WE NEVER WENT FOR A WALK
DOG 911: OMG
@Reverend_Scott: The year 2077. Due to the dog filter, face swap, and distortion filters, senior citizens have no idea what they really looked like as teens.
@Reverend_Scott: When I lift one of my dog's muddy paws to clean it he acts like he's gonna fall down. DOG YOU STILL GOT 3 LEGS. I ONLY GOT 2
@Reverend_Scott: [first date]
HER: So, I hear you're a dog person-
ME: [tucking my tail between my legs] WHO TOLD YOU
@Reverend_Scott: COPS: WE'RE COMIN IN
"have a police dog?"
"only the dog can come in"
"my house, my rules"
COP: I guess that's true