Funny Tweeter

@Reverend_Scott: I can turn wine into a one night stand. Your move Jesus.

@Reverend_Scott: Ways to tell a woman's mad at you: 1. She's silent. 2. She's yelling. 3. She acts the same. 4. She acts different. 5. She murdered you.

@Reverend_Scott: Mistakes married men make: 1. Doing things. 2. Not doing things. 3. Thinking about doing things. 4. Not thinking about doing things.

@Reverend_Scott: Mistakes married women make: 1. Assuming he heard you. 2. Assuming he understood you. 3. Assuming he'll remember. 4. Marrying a man.

@Reverend_Scott: All I'm saying is, I've never seen my Ex and Satan in the same room together.

@Reverend_Scott: Apparently you can't make a baby by adding water to baby powder, so don't waste your time.

@Reverend_Scott: I don't think people should throw stones in regular houses either.

@Reverend_Scott: Ways to know a guy at the bar wants to take you home: 1. He talks to you. 2. He buys you a drink. 3. That drink makes you REALLY sleepy.

@Reverend_Scott: Thinking about having kids? Buy a plant. If you can keep it alive for 18 years, hopefully you're too old to have kids by then.