@Rhythms_n_Booze: HR: You know why we called you down?
HR: You know we monitor internet usage right?
Me: I'd like to reporting a hacking.
@Rhythms_n_Booze: Cop: What's the hurry?
Me: Nothing officer - Just didn't want to slow you down.
Cop: I was pulling you over.
Me: Well I get that. Now.
@Rhythms_n_Booze: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: Honestly I'm so shit faced I have no idea.
@Rhythms_n_Booze: I remember this one time I ran out of gas.
It was pretty scary. Almost dark. I was all alone.
I mean it was a lawnmower, but still.