@Rica_Bee: [checking into a hotel]
Front desk employee: Thank you ma'am, we'll make up a room for you right away
Me: aren't... aren't there real rooms here
@Rica_Bee: Netflix: (every 45 seconds) aRe YoU StiLL wAtcHiNg ???
Netflix when you fall asleep on the couch: *somehow plays 18 episodes in a row*
@Rica_Bee: [first 2 hours of meeting]
[last 2 minutes of meeting]
Coworker: I just have a quick 6 part question involving a complicated and controversial problem that was almost nearly resolved also this isn't time sensitive at all but I'd still like an answer right now thanks
@Rica_Bee: Me: Stop fighting this minute!! ONE...
Kids: *still fighting*
Me (sweating): TWO AND A HALF
Kids: *brawling at this point*
Me: ᶜʳᵃᵖ ᶜʳᵃᵖ ᶜʳᵃᵖ *texting* mom I need help what happens if you get to three
@Rica_Bee: Me: why are there so many rednecks at this bar
Vampire: *shifting guiltily* haha yeah weird
@Rica_Bee: I can never hear what my kids are up to while I'm in the shower so I just yell "HEY cut it out!" every 60 seconds and hope that keeps them in line
@Rica_Bee: Me: now kiddo, what do we say when we accidentally knock someone's drink over?
5y/o: (eyes downcast) "goddamnit"