Funny Tweeter

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Page of River_Niles's best tweets

@River_Niles : Interviewer 1: Describe yourself in one word Me: Hired Interviewer 2:[whispers] Holy shit can she do that??

@River_Niles: A white American told me I shouldn't call myself "British" because brown people aren't native to Britain.

A white American
White. American.

@River_Niles: We basically broke up with Pluto by saying it wasn't a planet anymore then spent 9yrs obsessing about it & just drove by its house real slow

@River_Niles: Today I found out my nephew is scared of the vacuum..

Today I also found out I have a very dark cruel evil side to me..

@River_Niles: 2: I no want to eat pasta! It too spicy!
Me: Oh ok then
2: I no wan watch Mickey Mouse he too spicy!
Me: huh?
2: NO BATH TIME BATH TOO SPICY