@Rollinintheseat: Interviewer: "Are you comfortable staring at a computer screen eight hours a day?"
Me: *looks up from phone*
@Rollinintheseat: Interviewer: "Why would you make a good customer service representative?"
Me: "I'm good at apologizing for things that aren't my fault."
@Rollinintheseat: Interviewer: “Why did you leave your last job?”
Me: “After coming back from vacation, all my passwords had expired. It was easier to resign than reset them.”
@Rollinintheseat: *Watching a commercial where someone is rock climbing*
*Do not attempt flashes across the screen*
Me: *hasn’t left the couch in 12 hours*
@Rollinintheseat: If you throw a ball of yarn on stage during a Broadway production of Cats, the actors are required to stop what they’re doing and chase after it.
Waiter: “Can I box any of this food for you?”
Me: “You can uppercut this piece of chicken.”
@Rollinintheseat: I use a wheelchair. Whenever I'm at a job interview and they ask me if I can sit for long periods of time, I want to say "Like a champion."