@Rollinintheseat: Doctor's office: "Can you fax us your information?"
Me: "Let me get a rock and chisel to write down your fax number."
@Rollinintheseat: I'm not above army crawling down an aisle at the grocery store to avoid small talk with an acquaintance.
@Rollinintheseat: [First date]
Him: "I'm Mark. I'm a librarian."
Me: "So, you're a book Mark?"
@Rollinintheseat: Interviewer: "Why should we hire you for our research team?"
Me: "I went to the second page on a Google search once."
@Rollinintheseat: [High school reunion]
Person: "Are you wearing the same clothes you wore on our last day of school?"
Me: "You told me to never change."
@Rollinintheseat: Tiptoeing would be much more fun if your toes made that tinkling sound like they do in cartoons.
@Rollinintheseat: I killed an hour today. The other measurements of time are terrified of me now.
@Rollinintheseat: [blind date]
Him: "I'm a big Beethoven fan."
ME *trying to impress him*
"Saint Bernards are my favorite dog breed."