Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Sanbel11's best tweets

@Sanbel11 : BOB: My name spelled backwards is the same. DAVE: Hahaha I’d be Evad. LANA: Guys, can we play different game?

@Sanbel11: [job interview for psychic]

INTERVIEWER: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

ME: Well played.

@Sanbel11: I had two naps today but every time I wake up I'm still at work.

@Sanbel11: "Kids, are you asleep?"

Kids:

*turns off the wifi*

MUUUUUUUUUUM

@Sanbel11: I never understood why chefs wear white.

I go in the kitchen to get a glass of water and come back with five stains on my shirt.

@Sanbel11: I just bought a beautiful 18th century bowl.

It even has a little sign on the bottom that says dishwasher safe.

@Sanbel11: *goes shopping without makeup and a hair in the messy bun*

"Hi everybody I ever met since 1999"

@Sanbel11: Him: Baby are you mad?

Me:
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No, why?

@Sanbel11: "Baby, I'm in the bedroom waiting for you"

Now I got your attention, let me show you a proper way to make the bed.

@Sanbel11: It's so cold out, that I don't know who's just wrapping up warm and who's a ninja.