Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Shade510's best tweets

@Shade510 : Actually resolved an argument between my wife and my 16 year-old daughter. Now being deployed to the Middle East to broker peace.

@Shade510: Got dragged to a Sarah McLachlan concert...came home with 7 dogs, 3 cats and a ferret.

@Shade510: Me 5pm: Need to go easy on the booze tonight, have to function tomorrow.

Me 1am: *twerking in a Denny's parking lot.

@Shade510: Not sure why my doctor prescribed LSD for a case of constipation...until I saw those dragons and totally shit my pants.