@ShanaRose21: Imagine if Trump becomes President and we are invaded by aliens.
Alien: Take us to your leader.
America: *Looks ashamed* Are you sure?
@ShanaRose21: I have a bad habit of starting things and never finishing them.
Let's all be thankful I'm not a surgeon.
@ShanaRose21: Telling someone "You are not alone" can be either extremely comforting or absolutely creepy depending on the context.
@ShanaRose21: Thank you automatic ice dispenser.
I was hoping to get either 2 or 675 ice cubes.
@ShanaRose21: I can never find my cars keys but I won't forget that time you checked out another woman at the mall four years ago.
@ShanaRose21: Every time I use hand sanitizer I wonder about the 0.1% of bacteria that isn't killed.
What the hell kind of scary shit is that?
@ShanaRose21: After reading some marriage tweets I'm beginning to suspect we all may have been married to the same person.