Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of ShortWhiteNUgly's best tweets

@ShortWhiteNUgly : An 8 yr old boy was screaming at the grocery store because his mom wouldn't buy him a Mars bar. So I bought one and ate it in front of him.

@ShortWhiteNUgly: I make my children listen to people like Pink Floyd and Bob Marley so they learn the difference between Chris Brown and music.

@ShortWhiteNUgly: Me: I found a job!

Mom: That's great! What is it?

Me: debt collection!

Mom:....

Me.....

Mom:...

Me: I think you know why I'm calling.

@ShortWhiteNUgly: My nephew asked me what marriage was like. So I gave him a candy bar and told him not to eat it.

@ShortWhiteNUgly: I want a girl who asks me to do things that I have to Google.