Funny Tweeter

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Page of Shot_Of_Cabo's best tweets

@Shot_Of_Cabo : "Wanna fool around while the baby is asleep?" I ask to the woman next to me on the plane who I've never met before and whose baby is asleep.

@Shot_Of_Cabo: Drinking recklessly used to mean tequila until 4 am.

Now its coffee after 5 pm.

@Shot_Of_Cabo: Pro: Learning another language increases your ability to communicate with more people.

Con: Learning another language increases your ability to communicate with more people.

@Shot_Of_Cabo: Cop 1: Where did you come from?

Cop 2: Where did you go?

Cotton Eyed Joe: I want a lawyer.

@Shot_Of_Cabo: Me: I find pregnant women attractive.

She: But I'm not pregnant.

Me: Gimme a few minutes.

@Shot_Of_Cabo: She: OMG I'm so wet.

Me: *hands her roll of paper towels*

@Shot_Of_Cabo: Can't.. arguing with someone who thinks phone internet and internet internet are two different internets.

@Shot_Of_Cabo: My daughter found a new boyfriend.
I'm just glad the police haven't found the old one.

@Shot_Of_Cabo: Impress your wife by cleaning something she just cleaned and then proudly announce, "There! Now it's clean."

@Shot_Of_Cabo: Me: Marijuana is good for my glaucoma.

She: But you don't have glaucoma.

Me: See?