@Shot_Of_Cabo: Drinking recklessly used to mean tequila until 4 am.
Now its coffee after 5 pm.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Pro: Learning another language increases your ability to communicate with more people.
Con: Learning another language increases your ability to communicate with more people.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Cop 1: Where did you come from?
Cop 2: Where did you go?
Cotton Eyed Joe: I want a lawyer.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Me: I find pregnant women attractive.
She: But I'm not pregnant.
Me: Gimme a few minutes.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Can't.. arguing with someone who thinks phone internet and internet internet are two different internets.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: My daughter found a new boyfriend.
I'm just glad the police haven't found the old one.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Impress your wife by cleaning something she just cleaned and then proudly announce, "There! Now it's clean."
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Me: Marijuana is good for my glaucoma.
She: But you don't have glaucoma.