@Shot_Of_Cabo: Me: I find pregnant women attractive.
She: But I'm not pregnant.
Me: Gimme a few minutes.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Can't.. arguing with someone who thinks phone internet and internet internet are two different internets.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: My daughter found a new boyfriend.
I'm just glad the police haven't found the old one.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Impress your wife by cleaning something she just cleaned and then proudly announce, "There! Now it's clean."
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Me: Marijuana is good for my glaucoma.
She: But you don't have glaucoma.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Had to be a woman that coined the phrase "severance package."
No guy is putting those two words so close to each other.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: The good thing about being a chubby chaser is you don't have to run very fast or very far.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Somehow stumbled upon a nude beach. .
Yeah, found myself in the middle of no wear.