@Shot_Of_Cabo: Me: Marijuana is good for my glaucoma.
She: But you don't have glaucoma.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Had to be a woman that coined the phrase "severance package."
No guy is putting those two words so close to each other.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: The good thing about being a chubby chaser is you don't have to run very fast or very far.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Somehow stumbled upon a nude beach. .
Yeah, found myself in the middle of no wear.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Prominently display feminine hygiene products in your living space to let him know your eggs are still viable.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: If you guys don't hear from your sexy lady friend TC today it's because he's spending Father's Day with his family.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Two guys in CA walked off cliff playing Pokémon.
Natural selection accelerated at 9.8 m/sec².
@Shot_Of_Cabo: (CPR class)
Wife to instructor: What if my knees start to hurt?
Me to instructor: See what I'm up against?
@Shot_Of_Cabo: [ phone call ]
Wife: You want the white 7" or the black 9".
Me: The black 9".
..and if she wasn't tablet shopping this would be awkward.