Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Shot_Of_Cabo's best tweets

@Shot_Of_Cabo : Cop 1: Where did you come from? Cop 2: Where did you go? Cotton Eyed Joe: I want a lawyer.

@Shot_Of_Cabo: Me: I find pregnant women attractive.

She: But I'm not pregnant.

Me: Gimme a few minutes.

@Shot_Of_Cabo: She: OMG I'm so wet.

Me: *hands her roll of paper towels*

@Shot_Of_Cabo: Can't.. arguing with someone who thinks phone internet and internet internet are two different internets.

@Shot_Of_Cabo: My daughter found a new boyfriend.
I'm just glad the police haven't found the old one.

@Shot_Of_Cabo: Impress your wife by cleaning something she just cleaned and then proudly announce, "There! Now it's clean."

@Shot_Of_Cabo: Me: Marijuana is good for my glaucoma.

She: But you don't have glaucoma.

Me: See?

@Shot_Of_Cabo: Had to be a woman that coined the phrase "severance package."

No guy is putting those two words so close to each other.

@Shot_Of_Cabo: The good thing about being a chubby chaser is you don't have to run very fast or very far.

@Shot_Of_Cabo: Somehow stumbled upon a nude beach. .

Yeah, found myself in the middle of no wear.