Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of SkinnieTalls's best tweets

@SkinnieTalls : I'm tired, you're tired, we should probably sleep together.

@SkinnieTalls: The best thing about coming from a big family is being able to talk louder than normal people.

@SkinnieTalls: Hey women, save your money, we just want you wrapped in a bow for Christmas. Wait, don't even worry about buying the bow.

@SkinnieTalls: To level the playing field, online dating sites should require using the picture in your driver's license.

@SkinnieTalls: It rubs the lotion on its skin and struggles with the doorknobs again.

@SkinnieTalls: Your inability to learn complicated handshakes is tearing this gang apart.

@SkinnieTalls: I mean, really though, who hasn't seen a UFO at this point?

@SkinnieTalls: My future's so bright that I have to wear lampshades like an injured dog.

@SkinnieTalls: Aliens: take me to your leader

Me: Hey babe, is it okay if we have company?